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Her eyes grew big and a look of panic settled on her face.

  "Just for an hour or so, so we have privacy, water and clean towels while I fix you up. Unless you want to go home looking like this?"

  She shook her head and then closed her eyes to rest.

  I took that as a yes and ran in to get us a room, then made a call.

  When I got back to the car, she was nearly unconscious. I carried her into our room, then went back to get my first aid kit. With as many bar fights as I'd been in, a first aid kit like this was mandatory.

  "Rose, I need you to sit up, can you do that?"

  I helped her sit with her back against the bed frame, then gave her two Vicodin. "For the pain. You're going to need it."

  She swallowed them, and I collected clean towels and a bucket of water and proceeded to clean out her cut. Each cry from her lips ripped at my soul, but I had to do this thoroughly.

  When I began to stitch, she got quiet, and I thought she'd passed out, but her eyes were open and looking somewhere only she could see.

  "I'm done, Rose. It's all over."

  I wrapped my arms around her and held her to me as she cried. "It's okay. I'm here. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."

  When her sobbing subsided I gave her a soda to drink. "This will help with your blood sugar."

  She took deep gulps until the can was empty. "Thank you. I'm feeling much better."

  A knock at the door caused her to cry out again.

  I put my hand on hers. "Don't worry. It's just my sister. I asked her to bring some clothes so you wouldn't have to go home soaking wet and freezing. You can trust her."

  I let Tammy in and introduced them. Tammy rushed over to Rose and hugged her. "You poor thing. Let's get you changed and cleaned up." Tammy glared at me. "Don't you have somewhere else you can go for a few minutes?"

  I refused to budge. "I'm not leaving her again."

  Tammy rolled her eyes. "Okay, He-Man, then guard the door. We need privacy so she can get dressed."

  Oh. "Right. Of course."

  I stood outside while Tammy helped her.

  When I came back in, Rose looked dry, warm and much healthier. She smiled when she saw me. "Your sister is awesome. I really like her. Thank you both for all of your help. I just didn't want to involve my family by going to the hospital. It would have been a mess, and the police might have wanted to know what happened. It's better this way."

  I had my own reasons for keeping the police out of my affairs, so I couldn't fault her there.

  Tammy put an arm around her. "I think you should take her home now. She's exhausted and needs sleep." She looked at Rose. "You have my number. Call me if you need anything."

  "Thank you. I really appreciate it."

  I didn't understand how women could bond so quickly. These two looked like they had been best friends forever.

  Tammy tossed a set of keys at me. "Take Dad's car, it's drier. I'll take my car back and have the seats dried."

  She grabbed the keys on the dresser and left before I could reply.

  I held my hand out to Rose. "Are you ready to go?"

  She nodded and accepted my hand. She'd found a pair of gloves, and I missed the feel of her skin. At the studio she'd said she wore gloves for a medical condition, but her hands looked perfect to me. Perhaps this was another secret she didn't feel she could share with me yet.

  We drove back to her house in silence, and panic rose in me as we pulled up to her property. "Rose, before you go, I need to know when I can see you again. I know this date sucked, but I'll make it up to you, I promise."

  Her eyes held such sadness as she looked at me. "I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship right now. There's a lot going on in my life at home and I just—"

  "Please, don't say no. Give me a chance. Let me take you on one more date. I promise this one won't end in stitches."

  The fate of my future hung in the air between us, clinging to that in between moment as she decided our destinies.

  "Okay, maybe one more date won't hurt."

  My heart lightened at her words. "Great. I'll call you tomorrow to set it up. Do you want me to walk you to your house?"

  I didn't want her walking in the woods this late, and her property looked big.

  "No, I'm fine. I know this place by heart. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

  She took her purse, shoes and dress and stepped out of the car. I got out and walked over to her. "Goodnight, Rose."

  I kissed her gently on her forehead. I wanted more, but didn't want to scare her off again.

  "Goodnight, Derek."

  ELEVEN

  A Soul of Lead

  ROSE

  I have a soul of lead

  So stakes me to the ground I cannot move.

  — William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

  Dear Diary,

  Our dearest friends in life often arrive in our darkest moments, and where once we were alone, then we are two.

  Ocean had found me through tragedy, when my dark gift first burned through me and into another.

  When once again tragedy struck, another soul friendship had been born.

  Sandy had been the first pup born in a new litter that promised to be the cream of the crop. Mother anticipated a high selling price for them.

  But there were complications, and as the Universe gives life, so too does it take life.

  Sandy's brother got stuck in the birth canal, forcing a C-Section. Her brother died, and ultimately, so did her mother. The last pup, another girl, hung on to life for a few more hours, but couldn't land entirely on this plane.

  When she died, Sandy was left alone. No litter mates, no mother from which to nurse, and so tiny we worried she wouldn't make it either.

  I spent a week feeding her by hand every two hours, keeping her warm, giving her love and care. When she pulled through, Mother said she had chosen me to be her human and allowed me to keep her.

  We've been inseparable ever since. Sandy knows my moods and knows my fears. She may not speak or communicate as a human, but we share a language of the heart that transcends words.

  When Mother wanted to breed her, I worried over her for months, sick with anxiety when she finally went into labor. Would fate steal her from me, as it had stolen away her mother?

  Would her babies survive the birth?

  With only one minor scare, pups and mom came out healthy and happy, and Sandy proved to be the best kind of mother, nursing her babies and loving them.

  She grieved when Mother took the pups to the kennel to begin showing them to perspective buyers. We both missed the pitter-patter of their little feet as they played in our small cottage, but I took her to visit, and she settled into the knowledge that they were healthy and thriving.

  Watching her give birth, seeing her care for her babies, I felt an old longing stir in me. I could have been a good mother, I think. I would have loved my babies and given them everything they needed to thrive in a world so often uncertain. I would have taught them the skills they needed to adapt to the ever-changing landscape of life without losing themselves in the noise.

  But I'd never have the chance.

  My dark gift would always keep me locked in the silence of my own solitude.

  I WANTED MORE than just a chaste kiss on the forehead, but so much had happened that night, and I needed time to sort it all out in my mind. I probably shouldn't have agreed to a second date, not after what I'd almost done, but the thought of never seeing him again broke my heart.

  He'd saved me, even if he didn't know the truth of what he'd saved me from. He'd been there in a way no one else ever had, and he'd even stitched up my arm. I'd have a nasty scar, but I'd live.

  His sister had made me feel like part of their family. She didn't judge or ask questions I couldn't answer. I wanted to be a part of their lives, but I felt selfish for wanting something that could hurt others.

  Derek didn't start his car and drive away until I reached the front door of my cottage, and I smiled despite e
verything. He'd watched to make sure I got home safely. That knowledge filled me with a glow I didn't know how to define, but I loved the feeling.

  Sandy greeted me at the door, and I petted her head. "Ocean, you awake?"

  Clad in an almost see-through nighty, she walked from her bedroom and raised an eyebrow at my new outfit. "You changed clothes. Those aren't even your clothes. Oh my God, did you two have sex?"

  I'd intended to keep my cool and tell her everything in a calm, mature way.

  No such luck.

  Through sobs and tears as she held my hand on our couch, I confessed every glorious and horrible detail about my very first date.

  She didn't interrupt or ask any questions until I'd finished.

  "Wow, that's a lot of intense shit in one date. But you did agree to go out with him again?"

  "Yes. But I shouldn't have, right? Not after I almost killed him."

  She handed me a tissue to wipe my face with. "First, clean yourself up. You look like a raccoon. Second, you didn't almost kill him. You're not even giving yourself a chance to learn to control what you can do. Who has always been the one to say that you couldn't ever be with anyone, that your powers couldn't be controlled?"

  "Mother, obviously, and every one else here."

  "Rose, I'm going to suggest something that I don't think you'll like, but hear me out okay? I love you like a sister. And I'm grateful that your family took me in when mine died. But I don't think your mom raised me out of the kindness of her heart. I think she wanted my powers to feed this group. I'm powerful, in my own way, and I give the coven control over the water element, which they wouldn't have if I weren't around. It's a rare gift, as you know, and she wanted it."

  I waited for shock, anger, or defensiveness to rise up in me. I'd been programmed my whole life to agree with Mother, defend Mother, and do whatever Mother said. But it never came. Could I possibly agree with Ocean about Mother? It seemed inconceivable, but there it was.

  "So what are you saying?"

  "That maybe, your mother is wrong. Maybe her motives have more to do with not wanting to lose your power than with helping you grow into your own. Rose, the only reason I'm still in this coven is because of you. Otherwise, I would have left a long time ago."

  My mind stalled as it tried to process what she'd just said. I couldn't imagine this coven without Ocean, and she'd never once mentioned that she wasn't happy here.

  "Are you so miserable?"

  "No, not miserable, but I don't think our community is all it's cracked up to be. I do think Rainbow is hiding something. Or at the very least, she's using people. I'm sorry, Rose, I know this is hard to hear, but I have to be honest with you. I was so proud of you when you questioned her about the motives of the Druids, and I didn't buy her B.S. story about them."

  I'd totally forgotten about the meeting earlier. Had that just been today? It felt like a lifetime ago after everything that had happened. "I wanted to talk to you about that. I think we should research them and the company they control. We need to find out more about Rose Botanicals and see if we can figure out why they've targeted us."

  She squeezed my hand. "I think that's a great idea. So you aren't mad at me?"

  I leaned over to hug her. "No, I could never be mad at you. You're my very best friend, Ocean. You're my family."

  "I'm so glad. I would never do anything to hurt you. Speaking of—" she pulled back. "I want to take a look at this cut. Maybe I can help it heal."

  I pulled Tammy's borrowed sweater off and watched as she peeled back the bandage and whistled.

  "That bad?"

  "Yes, but wow. That's some impressive stitching. Derek did this?"

  "Yes."

  "He's a keeper, Rose. Seriously."

  Memories of him filled my mind as Ocean channeled her power into me. The scent of him, the feel of his lips against mine. The taste of his tongue in my mouth. The hardness of his body pressed against me.

  Ocean replaced the bandage. "That should help with the pain, but it's got a lot of healing to do before you can go bare armed again. Good thing it's winter. How will you explain the scar come summer?"

  I shrugged. "Let's just deal with one thing at a time, shall we?"

  I went to my desk and turned on my computer.

  Ocean walked over. "What are you doing?"

  "Researching the O'Conners."

  "Now?"

  "Why not? I couldn't sleep even if I tried, and this will keep my mind off other things for a while. Plus, we need to know what's going on."

  She nodded and pulled up a chair next to mine as we began a Google search looking for anything on Druids, anything on the O'Conners in Washington, and anything about Rose Botanicals.

  I scrolled through pages, speed reading. "There's precious little about the Druids in general. Some bits about them doing human sacrifices—that's lovely. But nothing concrete. They seem mostly wiped out of existence."

  "Type in something about Rose Botanicals."

  I did and found a lot of press clippings, product information and news reports about it. Publicly, it was reputable and loved by customers and charities alike. The company donated half its profits each year to various charitable organizations, in addition to donating millions of dollars in products to low-income families, hospitals, relief victims and military. Its products had high praises with claims that they helped everything from acne to stomach aches to major illnesses, in addition to making rooms smell pretty.

  Nothing online implicated the company in anything shady. If anything, it is above reproach, its ownership honored as heroes. "If I didn't know them, I'd want to work there," I said.

  "Me too. Anything on the family that owns the company?"

  "Not much. They live private lives and stay out of the media for the most part. In one press release, a spokesperson from their company said they prefer to let their products and customers speak for them. Good PR move, but not very helpful to us."

  Outside, a frantic howling filled the night, followed by the yips and whines of puppies in fear. I looked out the window, but couldn't see anything through the torrent of rain flooding the world. Wind ripped through trees, tearing off branches as it abused the land in its rage. Sandy joined in the howling and scratched at the front door, desperate to check on her babies.

  "I should go see what's going on and make sure the puppies are okay. Can you keep digging?"

  "Sure."

  Sandy followed me to the kennels, slipping through mud and water as we dodged the debris of the storm. I felt around with my magic to see if anyone had broken into our property again, and a sudden wave of nausea overwhelmed me. I bent over and vomited out all the lovely Italian food Derek had bought me. "Oh no. What's happening?"

  I picked up my speed, running through the dark with Sandy, who had gone unnaturally quiet.

  As suddenly as the barking had started, it stopped, which filled me with even more fear.

  Rounding the corner I burst into the area where the puppies were kept and froze, rainwater dripping down my face.

  Oh God. No. This can't be happening. This isn't possible.

  Bending over, I dry heaved until my body had nothing left to give in its emptiness. My tears came in harsh sobs, mingling with the rain, and Sandy howled and whined and paced around the kennel, uncertain about what to do.

  All five of her puppies lay in the kennel, cut in half from head to tail.

  I didn't hear anyone approaching until they grabbed my arms from behind, squeezing my stitches.

  "No!" Mother gasped as I winced and pulled away from her. She turned to me. "What happened here?"

  "I don't know." My words came between hiccups and sobs. "I heard the puppies barking and came to make sure they were all right. I found them this way."

  I turned to leave and she grabbed me again. Blood seeped through my shirt and onto her hand. "Why are you bleeding?"

  "I… I cut myself on a gate earlier. It's nothing." I tried to pull away but she wouldn't let me. I had to get ou
t of there. Out of that room and away from that gruesome sight.

  Jasmine came in, her face pale and tears in her eyes. "She's lying. I heard her talking to Ocean. She was on a date with a boy and was attacked."

  Mother turned on me. "Is this true, Rose? Did you disobey my orders and go out with a boy?"

  I tried to summon my courage, tried to be more like Ocean, but it had fled at the sight of those poor puppies. "Yes."

  "You've put everyone here at risk. Do you understand that? Being a part of this coven means following the rules. If you can't do that, then you will no longer be welcomed here. From here on out, you're not allowed off this property unless accompanied by me or someone I appoint from the coven, and it certainly won't be Ocean, who's on thin ice with us as well. Are we clear?"

  Lacking any will to fight, I would have said anything if it meant getting back to the cottage and away from this horror. "Yes." In the back of my mind, in the place that existed before this tragedy had occurred, I wondered about Derek. The thought of not seeing him again penetrated the fog inside me, bringing with it even more pain.

  "Go back home and stay put while I deal with this. I'm very disappointed in you, Rose."

  Sandy didn't want to leave her puppies, but finally walked away when she saw me leaving. As I walked past Jasmine I frowned at her. "Are you really so jealous of my relationship with Ocean that you'd betray me like this?"

  She had the grace to at least keep her eyes down in shame as I stormed out and then ran back to my house.

  When Ocean saw my face, she pulled me to the couch. "What happened?"

  I told her everything and she stared at me in horror. "Rose, this may not be the best time to tell you this, but I think it's important."

  I wasn't sure I could handle anything else, but I nodded numbly.

  She pulled out a piece of paper she'd printed, and I looked at it, not totally comprehending what I was seeing.